Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
