help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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