im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
