i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
