Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
