he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
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