yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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