Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
