friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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