I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
babies were throwing up all over the place
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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