What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I am mentally ready for anal.
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