next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Randomize
