Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
