I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
so let's talk penis.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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