i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
