I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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