Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
