Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
