I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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