it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
