I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
