Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
