i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
