Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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