Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize
