DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize