I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
