It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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