Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
