We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
