ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
