Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
