bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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