Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
