sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
