Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
