So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Randomize
