Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
