All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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