dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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