I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
