guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize