Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
