Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
