I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
