dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Randomize
