dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
