I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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