Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
