She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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