In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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