Its about making memories worth repressing
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize