She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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