im gay
i know
yea but for you.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
