Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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