I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Every concussion has its silver lining
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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