She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
