his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
