so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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