Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize