He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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