Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
