i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
