oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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