It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
