Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
