wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
