There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
