I love black thongs
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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