Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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