God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
